POST 50 #

says it all..

POST 49 #

righteo then. i have the time to update my blog so best do it.
i'll go through the points i last stated. its easier for me to remember where i am them and i dont bable to long.

1. so me and vish had to finish what we had. now it wasnt because either of us didnt like the other or anything like that, it is about mark inturupting and us not being able to move on. we ended badly i guess and even now ive only seen and spoken to him once but i now know everythings over there and ive moved along and i would have guessed he has as well.

2. yes college has returned. and okay i really have been so lazy the past month and im falling really far behind which is why i guess i hate it right now. not much more to say here.

3. the new guy. is now my amazing boyfriend. yes it was quick so what? it was kind of like love at first sight i guess. well it was for him, me it was at second because i didnt really remember him when i first saw him. but yes my new boyfriend is Paul Brown and i love him so much. it feels weird i guess to find someone so fast and have all thse feelings for them but i guess you never know what 'love at first sight' is until it actually happens to you. we've spent nearly every day together since we started meetin up again and then finally getting together. thinking off the top of my head the longest we've been apart has been 3 days so far. and i must say after that i was so desperate to see him i could have possibly cried myself to sleep if i had to wait any longer. hes everything i ever wanted and he treats me just right. hes so sensitive and he knows exactly how to make me smile. i know he's never going to hurt me because he knows how it feels to be treated in that way, and i dont even need to say im never going to hurt him because i know i couldnt lay a bad finger towards him even if i tried. we've had our petty arguments but there sorted out so quickly because we know what we have. and i do hope that it will never end because at the moment even a lifetime feels so short a time to be with him.

okay getting back to blogging..
4. new phone. Alcatel. peices of shit really but will get me through till i choose a nwe one and have the money for it.

5. and of course the family problems still exsist. sometimes i wish they would just leave for italy faster. am getting sick of waiting around for them to choose somewhere.

so blogging session over for today i think?
you can wake up now.
sorry to bore u.
goodnight

POST 48 #

well theres so much to write but im so tired i dont want to go into so much detail, but will bullet the main things.
1. me and vish are totally over, and havent spoken for nearly a month properly now.
2. im back at college now and i actually hate it in a way, not sure i want to do sports anymore, its boring me.
3. i may have found a new guy, really sweet, but just broken up with his girlfriend.
4. i have another new phone, my tocco lite went completely bust the other week and i lost all my contacts, still trying to get them back now.
5.just had such a crappy weekend with my family and am most likely have to do it all again next sunday with the ther half.
so when i get round to being back online i will explain most of them in more detail i guess. it may be boring, it may be interesting, who knows?

POST 47 #

so even in a month of not blogging i dont kave much to update. life has been pretty much the same every day for the last month; few parties, drinking at the pub, and hanging around with mates. only change i guess is that college has started again, and even thats not very exciting blogging. better start finding something interesting to blog about, and fairly fast! im starting to bore you people i think, im so sorry!!

POST 46 #

the party yesturday was mad. went to it, stayed the night, didnt sleep at all, stayed the whole day after went to mates for dinner and finally came home. was so mad, but unfortunatly i didnt get many photos, i just left my camera around and expected other to just click away but still didnt get many. ohh well, i didnt look good most the night anyways, had my hoody on.
so off on holiday in two days. said goodbye to my friends last night and really dont want to go now. just feels like im going to be gone such a long time, at least its going to be my birthday when i get back. really cant wait for it. just seeing all my friends again, they are my life at the moment. going to miss them so much.

POST 45 #

PINCH, PUNCH, FIRST DAY OF THE MONTH
so just six more days and im going to be on holiday. two and a half lovely weeks in america; five days in new york, week in orlando and a week in miami. i really want to get a nice golden tan this summer, darker than the others so it doesnt fade as quickly. i cant wait. obviously im going to miss all my friends because i've been having the time of my life recently and i have them to thank for it. they've kept me going through all my downs and still helping my to pull through.
still doing my teeth whitening routine, i have seen a difference but now its starting to slow down the changes. its obviously scraped off the main stains and i guess its now working on the tough ones. just a little further and at least i'll be happy with them again, and will slowly stop being so mad about brushing them after every meal i possibley can.
nails aregrowing well now. using a strengthener as well as having all my vitamin supplements everyday, including the ones for my hair. my hair seems to be growing still, much slower than it did when it was shorter but hopefully it keeps growing. i predicted it to grow another inch by november/december time, and hopfully by start of summer next year it will have grown to just about how far i'll be happy with again, and then next december be perfect length finally. feel like counting down the months, just one year from now will do my fine. i wont be dying it again untill september most likely, probably do it fresh for college next year.
so hopefully by start of summer next year, i'll have the tan i want, the nails i want and the hairs i want. only thing left, The Boobs!! i dont hate mine, like shape wise or shit, i just wish they were bigger. i wish i could just hav a boob job and im done, but two problems with that; i dont have the money, and theres no way mum would pay because she doesnt believe in changing body parts and stuff. helpfull or what!! i was thinking about trying out a product called 'perfect c' which sells a form of pills which increase your bust up to three cups, which is perfect. all i want is a 34C and i'll be perfectly happy. and they cost around £200 for a 6 month supply, which supposidly can increase at least one cup size by then, and its all natural. its always worth a try when you think, you're paying £3000 for a boob job and only £200 could work using pills and its more natural. just going to have to get a job, earn some money and buy them now.

POST 44 #

two more photography pictures, which this time i haven't edited because im not sure what effect to put on them. i was walking through the woods on the way to see my friends one afternoon and i thought, i dont have many bark'y photos.

POST 43 #

so im single again boys! me and my boyfriend finished yesturday because hes getting stressed out and ill. because most of my friends are guys he doesnt exactly trust them and its making him worry, so we ended it for now. and yes i do still like vish, some more everyday. we get along so well and he's the sweetest guy i've met in a while. just a few problems stoppping us though, his best mate mark likes me. and for boys thats a big deal so vish wont do anything in public because we keeping it on the down low. he likes me as well but because of the 'rule' thing that boys have with girls we cant really see eachother. we're both finding it really hard when we're out with our friends in a group because we both just want to be left alone. its like tonight, we're going to a little sort of party at my mates. theres going to be over twenty people there and we're only alowed in the front and back room so theres no way we're going to get any time alone tonight.

POST 42 #

found out something that kind of made me jump back today but at the same time smile. a new mate, vish, who i've mentioned before admitted he likes me. which for me used to be very few people, and ive changed a lot in the two years. i get noticed much more now, which i guess is nice but it makes me just want to get better and better. ive been using many more girly products n i will hardly ever go out if i dont think i look some what beautiful. i just want to look better and better.
now this will show you how much ive changed, i think its a big change, but i guess you can always see similarities. the one on the left was taken in october last year, and the right was taken last month, so june. both taken on just an average day.

POST 41 #

went asda today with mum and my brother. i only went because i wanted to get few things and i dont trust them buying the foods i like. but i still seemed to come out with a new pair of sandals, which i do love, peter andres oler biography and an exercise ball, which as im typing this im sitting on it. have been working out on it for the last hour. i really do think im going to be back in shape very soon. unless i get bored of this as well, just like everything else.

POST 40 #

so ive made new friends this month as well. starting to relax a bit more. getting back late hours and night, drinking and just generally having a laugh. now your 'having a laugh' maybe totally different to mine but either way it makes us happy right?
well have a look at this, one my new mates being.. well himself!

he is wearing at least one item of mine in every photo. obviously the glasses, the sun glasses and my jacket. and you'd be surprised that the jacket doesnt seem to feel stretched or anything. it feels the same size. high five for leather!!

POST 39 #

right so i've done a little bit more photography, not too keen on this but heyy i guess there is always bad days.

so this was taken just down the road from me. i live in a quiet place and as i was walking home i saw the sun hitting the field and it just looked perfect.

POST 38 #

ohh and i forgot to mention. being as amazing as i am. me and a few mates met The Inbetweeners at the cinema not long back.

POST 37 #

few new photography photos from today, as it was such a beautiful chance to take some.

    

POST 36 #

holy moly! i havent blogged in like over a month. i think i musta been very ill or very distracted. though facebook has got me addicted recently on my phone. i been out a fair bit these days as well. but im very sorry bloggers, i will try and stay ahead of my blog a bit more now.
got my hair cut last week. really loving my fringe short and quirky again.
went swimming today wth few mates. was good i guess. really miss being out with them without the worry of guys getting involved. totally single again and deffinatley not going to get with anyone that i dont like loads for the next few months. just enjoy my summer, if its alone or with someone, its going to be a good one.

POST 35 #

updating. . .
updating. . .
updating. . .
..what to write though?

oh baby, i be stuck to you like glue baby,

wanna spend it all on you baby,

my room is the G spot,

call me mr. flintstone,

i can make your bed rock

sorry but those lyrics are just the boom right now. its what im listening to right this moment so you can see why its the first thing i thought of.

sometimes guys can get so confusing! do they not know how hard it is for us to read their signs. errrr i can get wound up. yes i still like dave and i have no idea what he thinks of me at the moment. i think he still wants to stay mates but thats not what all his friends are telling me.

and just so he doesnt feel left out...

JODY WALKER I LOVE YOU, YOU LOSER!!

POST 34 #

POST 33 #

had a bit of fun yesturday with my little sister. we just took loads of photos. i liked some of them, they turned out really good. will probably print and send some out to the family as they all complaining they dont have any recent photos of me.

easter tomorrow! lots of chocolate.. wonderful! im slowly drifting away from iking chocolate, probably cos of all the creme eggs im had recently. stupid cheap deals in college!

POST 32 #

was one of my best mates 18th birthday last week aswell. seems like it was ages ago now but really wasn't. it was a good night. went to a rave in memory of a mates brother who died last year. was so tierd the morning after. neck was hurting and hardly slept. but heyy, thats how you can tell you had a good night right?

POST 31 #

got my hair cut today. no different in style as im growing it, just sorted out split ends and what nots. i still wear my extentions a lot of the time so i had to get my last few layers really thin so they blend in.
tomorrow im off to one of my ex's house to see his mum and nan. we still get along really well -me, his mum and nan.. not me and him- we havent got along since we broke up. he ruined my life so i have no respect for him anymore. the fact that he is still spreading rumours around about me makes it even worse. he hasnt changed since we split, and if he has he's just become worse. i never think ive changed but when i think how i was with him i definatly have changed a lot!

heres me and 2 of my closest friends at Shakeaway - the best milkshake place in England - i look like a total morron so dont comment saying that, i can see!

POST 30 #

heyy guys. sorry again for being away so long. i know you've been longing to listen to my nagging voice again. i've been pretty swapped with work and college assignments recently, plus my dad decided to put a timer of only 2 hours a day on my computer. harsh much!

POST 29 #

what a great day. volunteering again. this weekend im with iDance, working at the UK HipHop Championship. i get to see an amazing group of dancers from all ages. it really is wonderfull. tomorrow will be the best day as its all the big crews.
few photos again for you to be jealous of me at my expense.

POST 28 #

STAND UP! STAND UP! FOR SARACENS! STAND UP!
wembley today! was such a great day, really enjoyed myself. if you ever get the chance to go to such an amazing stadium i'd take the chance again and again. it really is beautiful. got to see the amazing Chip Diddy Chip (chipmunk) performing and The Saturdays. got my free shirt and my tickets. all in all great day out. if you think you'd enjo this work sign up with us. its always a great weekend with SARACENS!! ..few picture for you to be jealous at my expense.

POST 27 #

me and a few friends are going to the cinema this evening. this is what we're going to see, cant wait, looks interesting.
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightening Thief

POST 26 #

football match today against Queens school. we won! 1-0!! though i have messed up my leg so bad again. really upset about that. emma, dave and scott all watched me today as weel so i didnt want to just fall to the ground with the pain i was in. i got through it though so its all good. it started to snow n us at one point, and i was freezing for like the whole game.
im really happy the last few days. all thanks to guys which is the weird thing. the one i wanted to be free from has left me alone, so thats all good. the one i like is just generally amazing. and all my friends are keeping me happy. so at the moment im the happiest i've been in a long time. just hope it stays.

POST 25 #

sorry i haven't been blooging for the last few days. i've been so rushed off my feet and haven't had much time on the computer. i was going to sign up for the mobile blogging but then i thought there wasn't going to be much point. if i want to post anything important i'd end up writing loads.
i was in town friday night with a few guys. was a good night, had a right laugh. should be going up at the end of this month for another mates birthday, need to save up some cash.
its getting so close to the wembley match now. just 6 days away, i really cant wait. hopefully it doesn't end up raining or snowing. hopefully its a fairly warm day, i dont want to be working in freezing temperatures.
oh and i got my picture frame for my wall and some glass shelves so hopefully i can get them up fairly soon.
and Kevins back tomorrow night.

POST 24 #

so i get home from a decent day at college and a happy time at football training, and my dad blows on me my cat died. not the familt cat, but my one. i feel so bad. i was so mean to her the other day and i've hardly paid attention to her recently. she was found run over down the road from where i live. and if i find the wanker that did it! i swear there will be blood shead!

R.I.P Sky. i love you always darling.

POST 23 #

so its back to college again tomorrow. this weekend seemed to go so fast. i cant even remember what took up all my time, but most likely the assignments. i haven't had the chance to go see half my mates recently either. all this work just seems to be piling up on me, i think i better get it done earlier in future. but i have a whole assignment still to do for thursday which i dont have a clue how im going to get it done because im going to be so busy when i get home from college tomorrow.
fairly happy about college tomorrow though. the girls football team are going training with the guys down at holywell, which finally mean i can play in boots. thank the lord. i really do hate astro turf sometimes.
so its back to the work i guess, more blogging tomorrow.

POST 22 #

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS KENNEDY, hope you have a great day.

mann these assignments are starting to do my head in. they are kinda simple but its just effort to actually sit there and write pages of information out. i still have 2 to finish by wednesday and im not home tomorrow to do them. was meant to be out in town tonight with mates as well part cant see that happening now.
as promised, my very bright wallpaper. next up in my new glass shelves and bedding. then its just time to find about 30 photos, print them and put them in my new frame.

POST 21 #

my wallpaper has finally been put up, so im very happy. it makes my room look so different. i just have to find some bed covers now and put my new shelves up which will hopefully be done within the next 2 weeks and then my room is finally complete after a year of being in it! i'll put up a picture of my room like it is at the moment tomorrow because its a bit untidy now.
i had my little interveiw/meeting with Nicky yesturday for working at the UK HipHop Championships next month. it sounds like its going to be a really busy weekend when she explained it all. hopefully we get like a hoodie from the merchandice to keep, suposidly they're really nice as well.
i have my Sport for Health festival on tuesday in Bishop Stortford. its a bit of a journey for me but its going to be a good day working and coaching younger kids. and of course, it goes straight on my CV for work experience. im so glad i got involved with the saracens project because the ammout of experience work i get out of them is just truely amazing. still cant wait for Wembley on the 13th.

POST 20 #

should i get a tattoo? i've been thinking so much about it now.
this is what im looking at getting...

POST 19 #

wooo its finally the weekend. hopefully am putting up my new wallpaper on sunday and going shopping tomorrow for a new jacket and some duvet covers. i've also got an interview tomorrow to talk about the work im doing at the end of the month with the UK HipHop Championships.
have got just 2 weeks until im working at Wembley with the rest of the Saracens team. i even get to meet Chipmunk and The Saturdays. i think im a little excited even if its going to be cold and most likely wet.
was looking at finally giving in and getting a blackberry today. found a fairly similar tariff to what im currently getting at the moment so has persuaded me more. it will have to be the blackberry curve though, as the other one doesnt look so nice in my opinion.

POST 18 #

im so proud of myself today. i've done so much assignment work, with the help of a mate though. thank you Nathan. i've managed to complete my research methods assignment and complete my sport in society and nutrition referals, all within a matter of hours. its weird how when one little thing in your life changes, so much more good or bad comes with it. since the Kevin situation finished ive been so much more happy and concentrated. if you see me around you will notice, if not im sure you'll notice reading up on my blog.

POST 17 #

this was the most amazing veiw i've seen all winter i think.
definatley beat the snow.

POST 16 #

just got back from my football match with the college team. there was a reason why i dont play girls football and today just proved it. it's too bitchy and rough. my left arm is dead like hell, and this is proving difficult to write because of it. it started to rain in the last 15minutes so my hair is now very messy. and worst thing was it being only a 7 a side match! i hate playing on such a small pitch because its literally just booting the ball one end and back again till you score, there is no skill involved.

anyway, here are the pictures i promised of my very tidy room.

POST 15 #

wow my bedroom is spotless now. was awake by 10am and started working straight away. it does look like a slight waste of a day when you notice the difference.
this is what my room looked like yesturday

tomorrow i'll post my photos from what my room looks like now. im sure you will be surprised. next week im doing my wallpaper and then my room is next to complete. i cant wait.

p.s. my football boots arrived today. so happy.

POST 14 #

i've chosen a wallpaper to put up as a feature wall in my room. my room is so plain, it needed a bit more colour but i hadn't found a wallpaper that i really liked that wouldn't just make the room darker. its a really nice floral pattern, white background, black vines n bright pink flower heads. its nice and bold so suits my room perfectly.

i've also got a massive picture frame, about a metre and half long and like 75cm to a metre width. its going on my opposite wall so i can pile pictures of me, my friends and family in like scrapbook formation.

tomorrow im going to have to start clearing the rubish in my room ready for the decorating. but then my room will finally be finished and all i'll need to buy are some new shelves, but im still not sure where to put them.

POST 13 #

i cant wait for my new footbal boots to arrive tomorrow. so excited about finally gettng a new pair since i used my old ones for 2 seasons. you see, i usually change my boots every season. i dont know why i guess its because i get bored quicky. i was going to buy the new F50's but im running low on money at the moment so i thought £100 on new football boots that i might not wear much is kind of a waste, so i got these F30.9's for £45.

POST 12 #

im cooking tonight. will have to start at about 4. im doing home made lasagne and i invited my nan is coming over. my parents decided they dont want to cook tonight and laid everything on my hands. well thanks mum and dad!
yeah so if you haven't figured it out already, im a very independent girl. i do everything for myself. i cook, i clean, i shop, i build, i fix, i do everything.

POST 11 #

these are a few lyrics from a song that im proud to say i can now relate to. i finally told Kevin that its over. i have nothing to do with him now. he cant hurt me anymore. its just me and the rest of the world.

We've run out of words we've run out of time

We've run out of reasons really why we together

We both know it's over baby bottom line

It's best we don't even talk at all

Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door

I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore

I got the picture phone but baby your picture's gone

Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed

'Cause it's over

Girl you know it's over this time

So when you call I'm pressin' seven

Don't wanna hear your messages messages

I'm tryna erase you from my mind

'Cause it's over

I swear girl it's over this time

So don't keep callin' leavin' messages

Don't wanna know where you been

Baby 'cause it's over

Then he goes out of your heart forever

And it hurts you but you know that it's better

POST 10 #

last night was ollie's 18th birthday down at the irish club. was fairly slow at the start as always because many people are still sober, but within about an hour everyone had been drinking and was livening up. met a few more new people and had a laugh with the old ones.
heres a few pictures of the night..

POST 9 #

think i've finally chosen an outfit for ollies 18th tomorrow evening. taken my time in it, i know! but you dont know how difficult it is to decide on what to wear especially when you are constantly out clubbing because you run out so fast and have to start all over again!

POST 8 #

have just finished my spray tan, so give it 2 hours and i'll be tango, haha. im so addicted to my fake tan in the winter, im not sure why, maybe because i've lost my gorgeous brown tan from the summer.
i still haven't slept but i did have a good day today. was surprised i wasn't as down as i thought i'd be. college definatly was what i needed. though i do now need to do an assignment that is due in tomorrow as well as sort my messy bedroom out, see my mates and sort out everything for friday night. yes, that still means i haven't totally decided on what colour im goin to wear.
i think i better get to work then!

POST 7 #

am trying to decide what im wearing on friday night. im going to my last ex's 18th birthday party and i cant figure out what colour i'm going to wear.
it's between purple, blue+white, black or animal print?